I FOUND IT!!!!!!! The button was very hard to see (glasses and big guy, i couldn't get in there, but I was able to feel it out!.
Right above the brake pedal, there is the plastic trim (with cutouts for the e-brake and the hood release). The remote start button was taped/lashed/zip tied to the back side of this trim plate in line with the brake pedal. you feel around and its the only button, plus it feel very shoddily attached so that was the clue.
Also, the procedure I quoted originally works perfect once you find it, with one exception. I don't know what LED the procedure is refering to, but its not the LED on the remote start keyfob. Once you get to option 7 just push the keyfob once and turn the car off.
My biggest complaint with my car is resolved.