capsmp Posted March 13, 2012 Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 (edited) Thanks. Edited March 19, 2012 by capsmp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrdave Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 My advice has nothing to do with the Edge. If she makes impulse buying decisions on a $25k vehicle purchase with a crappy interest rate and out-of-her-budget payments, just imagine how much fun she will be to deal with when you start combining your money. I spent years with a girl who was awful with money management and I will NEVER go back again. Good luck man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingo Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 I did that once. Thank God for pre-nups and separate accounts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wlepse Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Doesn't sound particularly good, but how old is she? People do lots of stupid things especially when they are young. We hope to get wiser as we get older but we still f up. I would say tread lightly and really think about other decisions she has made. Is there a pattern of decisions like this or was this a one off? I wouldn't decide on a relationship with just one bad decision. Hell I do stupid stuff all the time and my wife still keeps me around. :P 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c_bova Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 the person you should smack upside the head is her father for letting her do something like that and not stepping in to even help, lesson learned or not. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingo Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 the person you should smack upside the head is her father for letting her do something like that and not stepping in to even help, lesson learned or not. +1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akirby Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 +1 +100 You can try to show her why it was a bad decision and explain the importance of having a budget and sticking to it but if she's really an impulsive buyer then she probably won't listen. If this really is HER money then try to hold HER to paying for it so she can feel the pain of overpaying and not having enough money. Easier said than done though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c_bova Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 and an extra smack for not negotiating in an extended warranty 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igcitng Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 I would like to explain how this works with us girls. This is how we shop: "Oooh, pretty!" Visualize finger pointing at the pretty thing. Given the list of vehicles in the original post none of us should be surprised that she chose the Edge. It is VERY pretty. However, having a dad that has always been there for me I am disappointed that her dad did not help her through this better. Putting herself in financial peril is not learning a lesson, it is serving a sentence. This is where dad could have taught her a life lesson. My dad taught me early on how to shop for a car and I have been successful with it ever since. I will admit that I spent more on my new Edge than I wanted to, I like to keep it real with car and house payments. I bargained with myself and gave up some extras that I really do not need every month, however I did not spend more than I have either way unlike this situation. And not to offend any gentlemen here that commented on how it may be after marriage, sharing money etc., remember that he has NOT put a ring on it yet and should not base his feelings for her on her money savvy or choices. If you do not live together or share finances there is no 'we' here unless you are supporting her. And if she is not getting what she wants out of life, meaning the committment, this Edge may be a little 'retail therapy' for herself or a way of trying to be independent. If I can't have this then I'll have that. Sometimes feelings overrule logical thinking. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akirby Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 and an extra smack for not negotiating in an extended warranty Actually - I'd hug her for that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akirby Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Sometimes feelings overrule logical thinking. What do you mean 'sometimes'? :cheerleader: :poke: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capsmp Posted March 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) Thanks for the replies. Edited March 19, 2012 by capsmp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrdave Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Wow, trading in the car you bought (probably for next to nothing) without even consulting with you is pretty damn selfish and impulsive. But look at her role model... good grief. That would probably be it for me... but you obviously know the history better than I do. Like I said before, going from my ex who had absolutely no sense with money and was determined to rack up as much debt as possible to my wife who is just as, if not more frugal as I am has been very very nice. We don't even have disagreements about money, let alone fight about it. :happy feet: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capsmp Posted March 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) . Edited March 19, 2012 by capsmp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igcitng Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 I spent too many years with someone who had financial issues. Every day just about there was a new batch of bad news or another stupid decision that I could have easily steered him away from. The only cure for this is stop being generous to her and take care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igcitng Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 What do you mean 'sometimes'? :cheerleader: :poke: Akirby you are a bad boy lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capsmp Posted March 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) . Edited March 19, 2012 by capsmp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOEHIO Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 WOW, the whole situation sucks - BIG TIME ! I would sit down with her, explain what a dumb ass mistake this was, and then tell her that her old man is a piece of shit. How could any parent in their right mind just sit back, and let their child get into a predicament like this? Sorry that she got shafted by the dealer AND her father, what I think of HIM (daddy) I cannot put on this forum, becasue the moderator would ban me forever. Maybe she can check out other financing (credit unions, banks, whatever) and get a lower rate. Hang in there, things have to get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11edgelimited Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 Best of luck with this. I would say she made a very big mistake. I would personally hold off on moving in together engagement etc. As others have said we don't know her past, but at 23 she is willing to make a choice like she has then I would say she has a lot of growing up and maturing to do before you put a ring on her finger. Also as others have said you don't live together and haven't combined money then it is her mistake. Keep your money as it is and let her keep hers as it is. Me and my fiance personally have our own accounts and then a mortgage account. the mortgage account is the only one that both of our money goes into. I am 26 and she is 27. We have also been together for 10 years this Nov. Others have said don't evaluate your relationship over money decisions I would majorly disagree with this. Money is one of the biggest and most common thing couples fight over and it destroys numerous relationships. Also as others have said go to a credit union or the bank she uses and see if she can get approved at a lower interest rate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11edgelimited Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 I just put in nada.com for where I live with no options on a '10 SEL AWD Clean retail is $27,000 or FWD is $25,500. I would say you could sell it private party for what she paid for it if not a little bit more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capsmp Posted March 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) . Edited March 19, 2012 by capsmp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11edgelimited Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 Another part I forgot: Apparently her bank/credit union is the same on that the dealership uses. The person there said in 6 months she can refinance, but I feel very icky about anything like this a car dealer says. I also told her previously to get a rate BEFORE she came into the dealership, not at the end of everything, but we see how that all went. Even if she refinances, it will still be way too much for our current budget. I agree about the money thing. Even with us not living together, etc it is still one of the few major problems we consistently have, because it ties into so many other things. I feel like her priorities are more to impress her friends and family then actually becoming an adult with a realistic relationship. To the post about reselling, the one she bought is FWD, but that shouldn't make too much of a difference, and at least now, she seems totally set on keeping it. I asked her today, what was more important, her car, shoes, etc or me. She said me, but that she wouldn't sell/give her car back....ya. That sux. It sounds like you have a lot of thinking to do..... Whats more important to you? the relationship or your financial future? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingo Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 Not to be a dick, but if she acts how you say, and you speak to her as you say, it's doomed anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capsmp Posted March 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) . Edited March 19, 2012 by capsmp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingo Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 Sorry, damn Autocorrect. I meant to say, "I completely agree." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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